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Do you know that bad relationship choices are driven by old unmet emotional needs that often undermine one’s ability to make healthy, self respecting and discerning choices in relationships (and other areas of life)?

For instance suppose one was abandoned early in life they would have stored within them the memory of that event. With it would be associated negative self beliefs such as: I’m unwanted, I’m unlovable, I’m inadequate, I’m unattractive, I’m defective, I’m worthless, and so on.

These beliefs make one feel like they are deficient or lacking and therein lays the source of the feelings of neediness. The need is often so intolerable that it must be “filled in” or “met” in anyway possible. As most people are also led to believe that the only way to achieve this is to “get” what they need from someone else this leads them to desperately connect with anyone who will give them some attention.

As I think you can see this is not a wise strategy because the attention they get from others may not necessarily be for their best interests. This drive to fulfill these intolerable needs makes them vulnerable to making unwise impulsive choices that puts them in danger of being further hurt and/or exploited. This of course only deepens the problem and the cycle continues.

What most people do not realize is that the emptiness associated with their emotional neediness can only be filled internally. So you might ask how is that possible if the person feels deficient to start with?

LFE becomes progressively depleted from the mind/body each time an individual experiences a negative life event and then has the memory of that event downloaded into their mind/body. Those memories behave as what I have termed LFE Parasites that feed off of one’s life energy thereby leaving one feeling depleted, deficient and hence “needy”!

It is now possible with a new coaching process developed a decade ago to restore LFE to the mind/body simply by erasing/deleting these negative memories from the subconscious mind where they reside. This systematically, permanently, and cumulatively helps to restore one to a state of wholeness and completeness.

This also puts them firmly back in control of their lives and able to make wise, self respecting and discerning choices in all areas of life.

So if you are one of those individuals who is caught in a negative cycle of making bad relationship choices and you would like to end this, take your life back and start having healthy relationships kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to take you there today.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Life, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Or Join The Next Free Skype Webinar Event

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Do you know that most people, whether they choose to admit it to themselves or not, feel a sense of inadequacy and incompleteness within? How do I know this? Well if you look around and witness the extent to which many attempt to prop themselves up with wealth, sexy looks, flashy clothes, fancy cars, hip partners, plastic surgery, power, etc. you will recognize that there is a deep need that is attempting to satisfy itself here. Do you know that need is essentially insatiable and speaks to a deep feeling of emptiness that lies at the core of the current human condition?

Finally do you know that “condition” is an abnormal one that not only needs permanent rectification but which can be rectified if approached in the correct manner? What is that approach you ask?

This feeling of emptiness is more often recognized or “felt” as feelings of inadequacy or incompleteness. The former is probably more familiar to most while the latter gets cloaked behind relationships. After all, how many times have you heard the phrase “you complete me”?

So how is this empty state “abnormal” you ask if it is all around us and being experienced by practically everyone you know? Well for one because it “feels” bad, uncomfortable and undesirable. Secondly, it has control over practically everyone’s life. In other words individuals who obsessively try to navigate around this empty feeling are only feeling enslaved and dictated to by it.

So what is normal, you might ask?

Well, notice how this feels to you:

A person who feels whole, complete, adequate, emotionally independent, self sufficient, strong, confident, resilient, self directed, self assured, self validating, spontaneous, authentic, honest, living their truth, in integrity, peaceful, joyful, carefree, free and attractive, to name a few.

Now I know you will say that this sounds like a rarity and also impossible to achieve or sustain indefinitely given life’s stressors. I will say however that not only is this possible it is also supposed to be the “normal” human condition. So if that is the case how is that we find ourselves in such a sad, depleted, and debilitated state. More over what, if anything can be done to get us back “home” to ourselves?

Well, it turns out that the emptiness reflects a deficiency in what I call one’s Life Force Energy (or LFE). LFE is essentially the vital energy of life that is a) the source of all the positive resources I mentioned above and b) is responsible for the structural and functional integrity of your mind, body and life.

Each time a person experiences a stressful negative event the memory of the event gets downloaded into the subconscious mind/body and there behaves like a “hole” in the person’s energy field that constantly leaks out LFE rendering them feeling depleted and therefore empty.

It is now possible to permanently and completely “plug” those holes and restore LFE simply by deleting the memories of those stressful events from the mind/body. As this happens the person begins to return to their “normal” natural and empowered state as the human being they were meant to be.

To learn more about a new coaching process that has been helping individuals around the world achieve this kindly go the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation that will begin to help you take your energy and your life back.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

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For some of you this discussion may start to feel a bit esoteric but I can tell you, that over 13 years of experience has shown conclusively that what I outline here has validity.

Here we go.

The memory of parental divorce is “stored” inside of you as a negative memory. Simply by being there is adds to your identity or your so called personality i.e. “I am a child of divorced parents”.

Now notice how that makes you feel.

If you focus on it you’ll likely notice some or all of the following:

Feeling sadness, defective, unworthy, deficient, inadequate, ashamed, embarrassed, alone, different, angry, neglected, less than, like you missed out on something important, afraid of it happening to you and so on.

So what does all of this set you up for?

Well for many things but a few major things are that it undermines your confidence in a) your capability to have a relationship, b) your confidence in others and c) your confidence in relationships in general.

So what does all that do to you and your chances of having/sustaining a healthy relationship?

Clearly it lowers the odds doesn’t it?

Is there a way out of this? Absolutely!

One must dis-identify with that past event of parental divorce. They only way to do that is to erase that negative event from one’s subconscious mind permanently. It is now possible to do that with a new coaching tool called the Mind Resonance Process (MRP).

If you’d like to learn more about improving your relationship chances, reducing your chances of experiencing a divorce by erasing negative memories or to have a free telephone/Skype coaching consultation kindly visit the web link below.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Do you know that means you are stuck in a hypnotic child trance like state while trying to take on adult responsibilities such as a relationship?

Do you know that is bound to fail unless you are somehow able to wake up from this trance and remember and re-experience who you truly are, an empowered, mature, capable adult? Want to learn more?

If you still feel needy as a person you probably think that it has something to do with not having been properly nurtured as a child and that the only way to address this is to have those unmet needs fulfilled by a sufficiently caring and loving partner. Although many people buy into this notion few realize that this is a) unhealthy b) unsustainable and c) is not what love is about at all.

There is now an entirely new and empowering perspective on this state of neediness that readily provides a rapid and accessible solution which can begin to make healthy mature relationships feel like more of a real possibility. So what is that perspective?

Employing this metaphor I think you will readily accept that one simple and sure fire way to stop this self destructive behaviour is to delete the hypnotic suggestion. Well in the same way, and this is not a metaphor, a person who has supposed unmet needs from childhood is also the captive of a series of self destructive hypnotic suggestions made by caretakers when the individual was a child.

Children are highly suggestible simply because of the fact that they are small, weak, unable to care for themselves and therefore highly dependent on the care from the adults in their life. Their main aim is to survive hence when the environment around them is negative they must adapt and they do this by taking in and believing whatever negativity is hurled at them.

So if they are say abused, neglected, rejected, etc. they will attempt to adapt by believing that this means they are bad, defective, unlovable, deficient, inadequate, unworthy etc.

These are the “hypnotic” suggestions that leave them in a child like trance that persists well into their chronological adult years.

It is now possible to rapidly delete such suggestions and permanently wake up from these trances. In doing so the individual rapidly is restored to their mature adult authentic self and feels stable, self confident, self sufficient, independent, strong, resilient, self assured, and adult like just to name a few.

As I’m sure you can see this only makes healthy relationships much more possible and sustainable.

So if you would like to learn more about a new coaching process that can help you go from helpless needy child to your true authentic mature adult self kindly visit the web site below where you can also request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation that will begin to take you there.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

“Nice guys finish last” I’m sure many shy men can relate with this statement.

I’ve seen over the years that shy men have an air of “I’ll always be nice no matter what.” They are easily forgiving of others regardless of what the situation is.

Overly NICE guys also tend to remember things others did even though on the outside he’s forgiving about it; and these incidents just keep piling up more and more.
After reflecting on the question of “Why are they so nice even after being pushed around?” I realized it came down to one factor.

And here’s what really makes nice guys finish last…
When others are disapproving of us we feel the need to be even NICER just so we don’t lose whatever is left of their approval.

This is the wrong way to go and the results are quite the opposite. They can see you’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to acceptance and approval and they’ll keep as much of it away as possible. This is so you continue going the extra mile for whatever is left. It leaves you feeling exhausted, tired and sometimes confused as to why your efforts seldom get you lasting results.

Once upon a time that was ME, back when I didn’t have a clue.

The solution is to do the exact opposite. When others do something towards you that you don’t like make sure to show your displeasure towards it. Make YOUR attention and approval more scarce and therefore more valuable.
When it comes to treading over your personal time, property and your self-respect have less tolerance over others who have little or no respect towards you.

But don’t do it in a way where you lose composure. If someone always flakes on you when you’re supposed to meet just cut them away, stop talking to them, stop. Months later they’ll ask why you guys lost in touch (usually that’s when things aren’t going well for them and you come to mind as their last resort).

I do have to throw in a word of caution. It’s important to keep in mind that you want to be respectful and polite to others. Often times I see people going from overly nice to bitter mean. The point is to be the better person right?

Of course it is.

Here’s something else you can do.

Now that you know how to carry yourself in interactions I want you to meet with the same people and practice in small steps. Become aware of the instances where you really did find the actions of another unacceptable.

Maybe it was someone who stood you up, or maybe someone who is making jokes at your expense.

Tell them “That wasn’t cool”.

It won’t be easy at first speaking up if it’s something you’re not used to. But as you practice more and more you’ll get used to it like a steam locomotive picking up speed. Eventually you’ll get to a point where you notice yourself having more personal power and influence when interacting with people.

Author’s Bio: 

I was the guy who showed up to hang out and people would go “Ugh why’d they have to bring HIM?” and they’d avoid talking to me or even looking in my direction. I remember in high school I used to read about cool scientific facts and knowledge about the universe. And I’d remember it for conversations starters thinking it will mesmerize people and get them to notice me.

Yep, no one cared. I was shy, introverted and usually lonely.

But I wasn’t the type to throw in the towel. I studied some of the most extroverted outgoing people around and read about anthropology, ethology and psychology to understand what makes them so likable from a scientific point of view. Eventually I started getting the same success they were and created step by step methods to teach other introverted, shy men about being social and outgoing.

I met some famous people from Miss Korea, Jean-Claude Van Damme to small time movie directors in the area using some of my techniques.

What is your definition of a true friend?

Well most start with: someone who is there when you need them, someone who really cares, someone who will listen when no one else will, someone who is empathetic and understanding etc.

Such criteria are usually based on the premise that “when I’m in some kind of pain and need someone to be there only a true friend will be there.”

Well under what circumstances does someone really need someone else to be there for them? Well when they’re experiencing a difficult situation and are therefore in the role of a victim. In such cases the “friend” assumes the supporting role and therefore bears some of the pain.

Now I ask you, does this sound like a loving thing to ask of another human being, to ask them to assume some of your pain? Well some might think and do so on a regular basis.
Or does it feel manipulative and exploitative? Many such “friends” do in fact feel exploited. How do I know this? Well you hear it all around you.

For instance it’s common knowledge that those individuals who make such contracts with each other often secretly “keep score” with their “friends” to see whether they are getting their own personal needs met as well. When they aren’t you can over hear them talking to third parties about how “my friend always expects me to support him/her and rarely gives me much in return”?

Why do such relationships exist at all? Well there are many reasons but I will outline what I feel is the major one.
Basically, an individual who needs to “unload” their pain has chosen to relinquish responsibility for their life onto someone else hoping unconsciously that they will be cared for. Another way of saying this is that they have chosen to become a victim!

Many who have adopted the victim role often appear to know no other way to be. They usually carry trauma that goes way back into their childhood. They identify themselves with the trauma and this limits their ability to achieve a more empowered life and healthier relationships.

To learn more about how to free yourself and create a life full of true friendships kindly visit the web link below where you can also request a free 1 hour introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Finally do you know that it is possible to completely erase all such negative feelings as well as the memory of the breakup and rapidly restart one’s life? How does one do that you ask?

Negative memories can now be permanently and completely erased with a new coaching process that leaves the individual feeling like the event in question actually never happened. How is this possible?

This insight revealed that when an individual is identified with their past history they are effectively imprisoned in it indefinitely. That means that any “therapy” is bound to fail because change is inherently limited by the identification with that subconsciously stored “story line” called one’s Life History. In order to make any real and effective change that story line must be eradicated/erased/deleted so that the person can become free to re-create themselves and their life anew.

The only way to do that is to erase the negative memories that make up that story line. In this light the coaching process mentioned earlier was developed specifically for this purpose. One of its many uses has been its application in helping individuals rapidly and resiliently restart their relationship life after a breakup no matter how traumatic.

If you are one of those individuals and you would like to fast track your relationship life to a happier and more resilient place following a breakup then you may wish to learn more about this process by visiting the web site below.

There you can also request a free e-copy of my book and/or request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation that will help you literally bounce back into life.

Author’s Bio: 

Nick Arrizza, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor, is an International Expert Self Empowerment Life Coach, Relationship and Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process® (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation And Free Copy of My E-book are available upon request (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

While someone can have an idea in their minds about the kind of person they want to be with, it doesn’t mean that this always becomes a reality. This can relate to what another person looks like on the outside and what they are like on the inside and their personality.

One could meet someone and although they don’t look exactly like what they had in mind, the rest of them makes up for it. A connection in then formed based on the existence of the other elements.

And this is to be expected, as looks are not everything and sometimes people who look good, can have a personality that lets them down for instance. Emotions also play a big part in attraction and if something feels right, it won’t matter if it goes against ones logical mind.

So the result of this could be that one ends up with someone who is very different to the type of person they planned to be with. But just because they are different in a few ways or a number of ways, it doesn’t mean that one won’t be happy.

Blind Date

It could be similar to what are often described as blind dates, with one ending up with someone completely different and yet having a great connection with them. If they were left to their own devices, one would never have been so close to them.

The unexpected then leads to something fulfilling and what could last a long time. This person could have certain things that one looks for and others things that they had not been looking for.

Compromise

With the example above demonstrating that it is possible to be attracted to someone that one would not have expected to be attracted to, it could also go the other way.

Here, one ends up with someone who doesn’t match up with what they want and this can include their appearance, as well as their character and what they value for instance. And this could be a current challenge that one has or something that continually happens.

A Pattern

If one is with someone or has just left someone who they are not fully attracted to and it’s the first time it has happened, it might not be too much of a concern. Sometimes people feel desperate and lonely and reach for the first person they come across.

This is part of life and when one feels is emotionally unstable, anything can happen. And if one can’t see straight, they can’t expect to be attracted to or attract the right people. They might attract the perfect person, but there is also a greater chance of them not attracting the right person.

However, if this is something that has happens on numerous occasions, it is going to cause confusion and pain. One is sabotaging themselves and not going for the type of person they really want.

Attraction

If they were to imagine what it would be like to be with someone who they are attracted to, it is going to feel good. When it comes to physically being around someone like this, one could feel the complete opposite.

This is if one allows themselves to get this close to them; they might just keep their distance and only pass them by on the street. One might find it hard to understand the reason why they feel so uncomfortable around the type of people they want to be with.

Or one might find that they have friends who exactly like the kind of person they want to be with, but can’t allow themselves to get any closer and staying as friends is the only thing that feels comfortable.

Needs

Everyone has needs and wants and although these can be repressed and denied, they won’t completely disappear. So if one doesn’t feel comfortable with the kind of person they truly want to be with, then they are likely to end up with someone who does completely do it for them or remain single.

This is not going to be enough and one might end up feeling far worse as the relationship progresses, but it will take care of certain needs and wants in the beginning. As time goes by, frustration, anger and a sense of compromise is likely to arise.

The Challenge

Now, the challenge with this, is that on one side one will have the desire to be with someone they truly want to be with and on the other side, is the fact the these people will bring up ones issues.

Going with someone they are not are not fully attracted to might only bring up a few, in the beginning that is. But then there will be the pain that one feels as a result of compromising themselves.

To just speak to someone, let alone be with someone, who is a match, could press ones buttons. It is then not what they are like that is causing the problems; it is what they are triggering within someone.

History

And this is going to be ones ‘insecurities’ and what they need to heal or change within themselves. So, this could relate to things that have happened in ones adult life and what took place during their childhood.

One could have beliefs that work against them and sabotage their success in relationships. As well as emotional pain that has stayed trapped in their body and therefore weighs them down.

Awareness

The reason then, that one is not attracting the kind of person they truly want, is because of what needs to be dealt with within them. This causes one to feel uncomfortable around them and stops them from moving forward in life.

To work through this, one might need the assistance of a therapist, healer or a coach, and to engage in some kind of study, in order to increase their self awareness.

Author’s Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

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4 Real Ways To Make It Work

4. If you have shared custody with one or more outside parents, resolve any conflicts with them right away.
Ex-spouse struggles can become disasters. You’ll all be connected for life. Help the children transition from one household to another by “debriefing” when they come home. “How was your visit?” Then talk about the system at your house.

Author’s Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.

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Store up coldness, criticism, ingratitude, dishonesty, demands, and dissatisfaction; and you’ll have a reservoir of resentment and disdain. To face problems, separations, disagreements, illnesses, and stress, you will draw on your relationship reservoir. Memories of good feelings and goodwill let you cheerfully give what’s needed. Resentment and hurt feelings stifle generosity.

Author’s Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.